Of Snow and Ice
by DanceintheRain100
Summary: His shoulders shuddered, as Gray curled further in on himself. His eyes screwed shut, trying to shut out the images of blood that tormented his memories. The once comforting sensation of snow burned with each flake. "Will you teach me ice magic, please?" Angsty one-shot, because it's 3:00 am and I felt like it. Please R&R! Constructive criticism is welcomed!


AN: Hi lovelies! This is my first fanfiction on this account and in this fandom! Hoorah! Sorry if any of the characters are OOC! Well, I'm not going to keep you from what you came here for! I don't own Fairy Tail, or any of the characters! :)

XxX

Gray felt hot tears stream down his cheeks, contrasting with the ice of his skin and the air around him. He grasped desperately at his hair, trying to distract himself enough to make the crying stop. A sob rattled his chest, followed by harsh gasps. His shoulders shuddered, as Gray curled further in on himself. His eyes screwed shut, trying to shut out the images of blood that tormented his memories.

The once comforting sensation of snow burned with each flake.

"Will you teach me ice magic, please?" Gray broke.

His sobs transformed into wails, filling the frosty night air with his anguish. Jagged ice crystallized in his hand, the familiar feeling of it doing nothing to sooth his manic thoughts. Rage surged at the lack of comfort, and the ice shattered, sending small shards scattering across the ground.

His body moved, while his mind was drowning. The numb march to his house was pitiful. Tears mingled with his footprints until he reached his doorstep. Gray wasn't home, though; he was in the field.

The flowers were painted red and trampled. Scorch marks marred the landscape, while frost coated the blades of grass. The cacophony of explosions and breathless wheezes were deafening, but the shrill scream made the whole world go silent. The dainty figure toppled to the ground, blood staining her coat. The animalistic cry that followed was accompanied by sweltering heat that could be felt through the valley. Three more screams of desperation followed, but Gray had fallen silent. Kneeling next to the frail girl, he watched her chest flutter before going still. Her porcelain face was frozen in a shout of pain that had never reached her lips. Footsteps grew close, and Gray found himself not caring if it were friend or foe. Wendy dipped down across from him, her hands already frantically conjuring up healing magic. Minutes passed, and Natsu, Lucy, and Erza dropped next to him. The battle was over, but the tension was suffocating. Wendy explained through shuddered sobs that Pemia was gone. Natsu's roar of rage seemed far off. She was gone. Lucy's stuttered apologies were distant. She was gone. Erza's solemn murmurs were unheard. She was dead.

"You were supposed to protect her, Gray," The low growl broke the ice mage out of his daze.

I know. Gray couldn't muster his voice.

"She was your responsibility, Gray. What happened?" Lucy managed the question through her sobs, but Gray still couldn't bring himself to reply.

"Answer her, dammit!"

I don't know.

The slap didn't sting, and he felt nothing as he was jerked up, "You let her die, Gray."

I'm so sorry. His body refused to move. His mind was a broken record of apologies.

He thudded against the ground, too ashamed to stare at anything except for the ground. Natsu and Erza's shadows loomed over him; their silence was worse than any words that they could have said. After what felt like an eternity, they turned their attention to the two distraught girls that remained hovered over the girl's corpse.

"What do we do now?" Wendy managed to choke out through her tears.

"We go back to tell Gramps that we failed," It was the dejection in Natsu's voice that flipped the switch.

The dam behind his eyes burst, and his voice cracked as a sob ripped through his throat. His whole body was racked by his cries. Remorse tumbled through his lips in the form of desperate reparations.

"You're a Fairy Tail wizard? That's so cool!" The excitement that had adorned her voice echoed in his mind. "Wait, are you Gray Fullbuster?" The awe that sparkled in her eyes weighed on his chest, "You saved my dad on a mission! You're the best! I lost my mommy to Deliora too, ya' know? But you kicked his ass! Will you teach me ice magic, please? I want to be just like you!" But he wasn't the best; he wasn't enough. Not enough for Ur, and not enough for her.

Why did you want to be like me? I wasn't strong enough; I'm not strong enough.

His awareness returned enough to realize that he was being spoken to, but it all sounded like drivel. Erza's hand rested on his shoulder, jolting another surge of guilt through him.

No, don't care about me. I don't want to hurt you too. He was heaved up, and the mournful trek back began. Gray's legs were moving, yet he had never felt more crippled.

The memory dissolved away to reveal the tear-blotched sight of his front door. When he toppled inside, he collapsed to the floor. The jolt that the hard wood sent through his spine was welcome. He accepted the wails that he couldn't suppress, and let himself flounder in his failures.

Until there was a sharp knock on his door.

Blinking away the tears, he stared vacantly at the bronze door handle.

The knock came back louder, accompanied by the gravely voice of Natsu, "Gray-"

"Please go away, Natsu," The crackled reply was too quiet to be heard, but Gray didn't have it in him to reiterate.

"Oi, Gray, let me in. I'll beat the door down if i have to."

Gray's muscles tensed, trying to move, but he found himself immobile.

"I'm coming in." The loud snap of wood was unsurprising, and Gray let the splintered remains of the door topple onto him, "Hey."

"Hi," His reply came out as more of a rasp than a greeting.

"You look like a mess, Droopy Eyes," Natsu's half-assed attempt at humor left Gray feeling dry.

"Makes sense."

A pregnant silence fell over the two; they remained unmoving from the doorway and the floor. Gray's eyes drifted away, trying to find anything else to fixate on.

"It's not your fault, you know." Of all the things that Gray had been expecting to hear, that wasn't one of them. His eyes darted back to Natsu's dimly lit figure, "We were all tasked with delivering her safely."

Gray's shoulders slumped slightly. His eyes focused on the floorboards, losing any confidence in locking eyes with the Salamander.

"Sure, she chose you to be her bodyguard, but she ran away from you in the battle. Happy explained what happened. He wasn't happy about us putting all the blame on you," An empty laugh slipped through Natsu's lips.

"That's not how it happened, though. I took my eyes off her; I got too caught up trying to fight, trying to live up to her expectations. I didn't want to disappoint her. Looks like I failed at that," The guilt moved like sludge in his veins.

"Quit trying to make this all about you!" The sudden shout and burst of energy that radiated from Natsu shocked Gray enough for him to shift a foot back, "We're a team! We have each other's backs! We all failed! So quit sulking! Don't disgrace her memory and her hero by wallowing in your guilt!"

Gray was stunned into silence.

"You can't change what happened, but you can sure as hell learn from it," Natsu's outstretched hand suddenly shot into Gray's line of sight.

Wordlessly, Gray accepted the gesture and found his footing. The guilt still tugged at his mind, but it was weaker. His heart remained as heavy as a rock, but it was pumping blood nonetheless.

"Now quit hiding away in your house, unless you really are an Ice Princess."

The playful jab was enough to bring about a slight smile, "Flame Brain."

As their verbal sparring continued into to the street, Gray noticed that the snow felt far more welcoming than before.

XxX

AN: Agh! Sorry for the abrupt end, but it's 3:32 am and I need sleep! I can always repost if you guys want me to make edits! I don't have a beta reader, so if anyone is up to the job, please PM me! Constructive criticism is welcome! Please tell me what I can fix, as I'm going to do a rewrite in a few days to improve the quality of the fic! Love you all! Thanks for reading! ^^ God bless!


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